Billy Miller

sponsoredby The Kings Gardeners MinistriesSpokane Valley, Washington .

"Unfaithful" and Divorce"

I was sent the following information by one who is a friend and knows of my deep concern to be in agreement with God's Word, especially at the point of marriage and divorce.

I agree with all that you have said, but ask that you take a further look at Matthew 19:9 regarding the word "fornication" used, and how you progressed to the word "unfaithful".

At this point I reference Galatians 5:19 where adultery and fornication are listed separately, meaning they are two different actions. From my studies I have arrived at "fornication" being...sex with your child, sex with the opposite sex, sex with an animal, idolatry, and habitual prostitution. I see that Bill Gothard of the Institute of Basic Life Principles arrived at the same conclusion.

"Unfaithfulness" can come as a result of putting the job first or the children first or possessions first or giving an untruthful report about the spouse, or having impure thoughts about someone other than the spouse, or flirting, whether with word, touch, thought, a look or other body language, etc., ie: putting "whatever" ahead of the spouse and the marriage relationship, but certainly not qualifying as a reason for divorce.

Adultery is a reason to be stoned to death, but not a reason for divorce. It is a sin that has been forgiven.

"Unfaithfulness" as well as those sins I listed under "fornication" are sins that God dealt with in Jesus' death on the cross, so can be forgiven when confessed.

It is my finding that God gives NO reason for divorce, in that divorce is sin...that He HATES, and He is not, cannot put His approval on ANY sin.

We must note that He started with ONE man and ONE woman...for each other...for LIFE. It seems logical that if He had intended for there to be options, a reason for divorce, that He would have created MANY men and women, from which either could have chosen a second mate, should the first one have been "unfaithful" and divorced. It is highly possible that Eve was "unfaithful" to Adam, in that she wandered from his side, made a choice of not putting their relationship to each other and to God FIRST, choosing rather to eat the fruit, going against - damaging - the relationship.

Could Adam have divorced Eve for being "unfaithful" to their relationship? Certainly, but on what God-given grounds? Did he? Of course not. He was forced of necessity to obey God's instruction to "be fruitful and multiply", an impossibility without Eve.

Even our marriage vows attest to the permanence of marriage in that we promise to be there "even in bad times" "till death parts us". It is "bad" to be "unfaithful", but not a reason for divorce. Anything less than lifetime marriage is disobedience to God's lifetime plan for marriage, and called sin.

When Jesus was asked about divorce, He said that Moses permitted it because of "hardness of heart" - dogged determination to do it no matter "what" - but went on to say in the same verse (Matt. 19:8) "but from the beginning it was not so". In other words, He went back to the beginning to reestablish God's plan that there was NO reason for divorce, not even hardness of heart.

The biggest questions can be raised as previous verses to Matt. 19:9 are studied. In marriage, God, not man, establishes a one-flesh relationship (Genesis 2:24). How is it possible to undo or tear apart a God-established one-flesh being without death-causing destruction or defying a holy act of God? In Matthew 19:6, Jesus states "What God has joined together, let not man put asunder". A clearer rendering of this verse would be, "Since God is the author of marriage, and has joined these two people in 'holy matrimony', NO person has His AUTHORITY or the POWER, certainly not HIS, to destroy this one-flesh relationship"...not spouses, not church leaders, not civil courts.

As you have said, people have "abandoned biblical authority" for rationalizations..."imaginations of the mind"...to please the desires of self...about marriage and divorce.

Some will even say that "God didn't bring us together, and since He didn't I don't have a biblical marriage. Now I am free to seek that biblical marriage", not understanding and giving full credit to God for being in total control of our lives, even when we are disobedient. Nothing catches God by surprise, not even our "bad choices" that put us in a "bad marriage" or an "unbiblical marriage". He knew us before we were formed in the womb, and knew every choice that we would make throughout our lives, and has the solutions to those "bad" and "unbiblical" marriages, solutions that do NOT include divorce.

Many act as though God is concerned about what concerns us until it comes to a troubled marriage, and then turns His back and walks away, unable to do anything to bring about reconciliation and restoration. It is not God's inability, it is our refusal to let Him "do His thing" through healing. He delights in the impossible. It is we who give up, not willing to "wait on the Lord" for healing. We pray for physical healing, but throw troubled marriages away.

Even churches are guilty of declaring "bad marriages" - "sick marriages" - dead, and having a funeral. How this must cause God indescribable pain, because marriage is a picture of His marriage to His Bride, the church. It is a flawed picture that He will not and cannot bless, even though many claim "bliss" after divorcing from that "covenant marriage" in Malachi 2:14, to which He was a witness.

Billy Miller
RECONCILIATION!
"I do" is for a LIFETIME.

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